The Battle of the Bathroom...

I guess it is fair to say that I did not enjoy sharing a bathroom with my two younger brothers when I was growing up...much as I am sure they did not like sharing a bathroom with me. You have to wait for them, they leave their stuff all over the place, nothing is where you left it, and wet towels tend to mutate and reproduce over the course of the week. A problem, I am sure, for tons of people all over the world. But we dealt with it...and all of us made it to adulthood without killing anyone.

I am not sure my own children will be so lucky.

There is the problem that one is a boy and one is a girl. I get that. Boys are nasty---I know, I share a bathroom with one, too. And girls are icky---I know, I am one. Various readiness droppings are littered all over when they leave, and that is if you can even get in the bathroom in the first place. Steam, wet floors, dirty sink, lumps of bathmats in the corners...and we will not even mention the smells. Granted, in a perfect world, we would never have to share a bathroom---everyone would be issued their own that could be set up wherever you live. But, short of living alone for your entire life, never attending college or going anywhere (malls, public pools, restaurants and all still have to share), let us accept that a shared bathroom is a necessity.

So now we move on to HOW to share that bathroom.

They were doing so well, too...we had finally settled the war of male shower vs. contact insertion---simple, the one who has to see takes precedence over the one who needs to get clean for the 3 minutes it takes to put the contacts in. Half of the time, one of them will migrate to the downstairs half bath and use that sink and toilet. But today, we are having the battle over letting the other one know when the bathroom is empty.

Let me set the scene for you: Girl in bathroom getting makeup on. Boy needs bathroom---for nothing dire, let me clear it up for the men in the audience, he just wants to wash his face---obviously, waste management comes before beautification, even I know that. Boy asks (politely, for him) when she will be done. Girl huffs and says, soon. Girl finishes and departs the battlefield. Boy looks at me and says, is she done? I ask, are you done? No reply.

I would like to point out, at this juncture, that Boy is sitting about 4 feet from the bathroom door and can see if it is occupied. Why I am being brought into the battle, I have no idea. Probably so I can be blamed.

Girl comes back into loft. Boy again asks, are you done? Girl says, yes, and as boy gets up with a sound of disgust like a semi braking, girl adds---I have been done for ----minutes now, he is sitting right there. Can't he see that I am done? In my parental state, I say, the polite thing to do, when someone is asking if you are done with the bathroom, is to let them know when it is clear. She replies, well, he does not let ME know.

And then, I lose it.

That does not mean you have to be a "jerk" to him, just because he is one to you.

And she stomps off, because clearly, I am "taking his side" again.

Ach, I am a bad parent. Somehow, I have never taught my children that just because someone is a donkey-hole to you, does not mean you have to be a donkey-hole back.

I wonder...how much does it take to install another bathroom?